Yesterday, I participated in my first trail running race in five years, and I loved it! The weather was perfect (overcast with some sunshine breaking through occasionally); the organisers friendly; the route scenic with a good mix of tough hills, trails, roads, grass, mud, over the moors, passing through villages, past grazing sheep and lambs. And there was cake at the end!
Although I was a bit anxious on Friday night, and right before registering, I can happily report that I was also excited about having something to prepare for, after a whole year of pretty much not preparing for anything. Well at registration, I was reassured there was no way I’d get lost as there’d be clear arrows and marshals showing the way. The atmosphere was very welcoming and laid back (perhaps a little too laid back as there were quite a lot of people loitering around the finishing line, spoiling my sprint finish plan…), and everyone started at different times, so I never had to find myself in a big crowd of people.
A lot of my warm up time consisted of me not being able to decide whether to run with my hydration vest or just a running belt, and I suppose that was the only time where my social anxiety really made its presence known. On the one hand, why not just wear what’s more comfortable or practical as I knew I needed to bring water and my phone for keeping time (point vest)? On the other hand, would it not look silly and overly pretentious to wear a vest for a mere 5 mile run (point belt)? Back and forth, vest on, vest off, belt on, belt off, vest on, and so on and so forth, until I noticed someone else running 5 miles wearing a vest and the choice was made. Vest it was. Screw you, SAD.
And despite my mild fear of getting lost, looking silly, coming last, spending all my energy in the beginning and having to crawl across the finishing line, I actually did all right. As I didn’t know the route, it was hard to plan the run well, but all in all, I managed the steep hills and tricky slopes, kept my focus on form and breathing, and, on crossing the finishing line, I even had quite a bit of energy left! No pains at all today, which makes me think I should have pushed myself harder…
Being highly competitive, I’m forcing myself to pat myself on the back and say I did a good race, and, again, nothing bad happened! Nobody laughed at me, nobody said I didn’t belong there, nobody shouted at me to get out of the way, and I also wasn’t entirely ignored. I was greeted with smiles and welcomes, encouragement, and congratulations at the end. I got a medal, chocolate, cake, and a beer (this is Yorkshire, after all).
My plan was to finish in under 54 minutes, and hopefully in the top ten. I finished in 53.47 seconds, and was number six of the ladies, only four minutes from the top three! So, actually, I did better than I had hoped for, and that’s from not knowing anything at all about the route or what to expect.
But regardless of the results, I guess I’m proud of myself for having signed up to the race, trained for it, and completed it, despite some pre-race nerves. And that’s what it felt like: nerves. Not anxiety. Just absolutely normal, everyday nerves, the kind that makes you perform better (in my experience), and not the anxiety that only hinders your effort. What a relief! I am now looking forward to the next race: 10k off road in June. Perhaps another top ten placement?
The SAD Creative 